Well, they're off. The couple of louses that left me behind to man the fort are on a plane this morning to Vegas. Mr Dna is going to be utilizing some crazy new type of made up technology that will allow him to send photos and posts directly to his blog. Pfffff. whatever. We'll see if that happens. Better check back soon to see if anything crazy shows up here.

Capt E

The Martini. A classic cocktail that has its devotees and it detractors. Some consider any drink with gin (or vodka) and some other flavoring agents to be a "Martini" while purists (like myself) consider anything other than gin and dry vermouth to be decidedly NOT a Martini. Apparently, Hemingway fancied a version of the classic called the Montgomery, a dry Martini made with a 15:1 ratio of gin to vermouth. Nixon favored a 7 to 1 ratio, while Luis Bunuel felt that a proper Martini was made when a glass of gin was placed next to a bottle of vermouth such that sunlight coursing through said vermouth would touch upon the glass of gin. This is remarkably similar to Captain E's recipe for a dry Martini, where one glares menacingly at an empty bottle of dry vermouth whilst stirring gin with ice.
Whatever route you take to happen upon the perfect Martini, please take care to use only gin and not fall prey to the revisionist's version with vodka. Thank you.

Let me tell you about my dinner. This fine concoction, Kraft Mac&Cheese with hot dogs, baked with bread crumbs and cheddar cheese, and eaten with a ketchup topping is one of my all time absolute favorite meals. Now, my friends I have cooked for would probably consider me to be a Gourmand, one step above a Goulu (glutton) and one step below a Friand (epicure), but had I prepared THIS dish for them that contention might be a bit different. Not sure which way. Anyway, give it a shot sometime, just make sure you have the right beverage to go with it. I'm having a 2005 Pepperwood Grove Syrah ($5, Safeway) but any fine malt beverage in a 24 oz or greater size would work just as well. Bon Appetit!.

Damn bike polo. I love bike polo.
So here's a heads up for everyone playing or thinking of playing here in Bozeman. Watch out for the outlets on the walls! They're just about at shoulder height! Nuff said.

Road trip to ride bikes, something for many of us here in Bozeman takes place a few times a year. This time, it was for New Belgium Brewing's Tour de Fat in Missoula. Casey, Wiley and I loaded up the trusty fixed gears in Casey's FourRunner Friday evening and headed west, with visions of full pints dancing in our heads. Unfortunately, enthusiasm trumped preparation as we would find out throughout the weekend. The first hint of this came to us as we started to climb Homestake Pass on the Continental Divide. 5000 rpms at 70 miles per hour in fifth gear immediately presented us with a "one of these don't belong" puzzle as the stench of burning clutch infiltrated itself through the AC system like one of those scent tendrils in a Looney Tunes cartoon. We pull over, scratching our heads and wondering if we can make it to Missoula by the morning on fixed gear bikes. A few tests of clutch disc static friction were next, after allowing everything to cool down a bit. We continued to tentatively head west and up, as there was no place to turn around. With deliberate application of the throttle the clutch seemed to hold just fine, enough to decide to attempt to make it to our destination, which it did.

The next reminder of our poor planning popped up after arriving in Missoula. We stopped at a Safeway to get some food (8 piece box on sale for $5!) and asked a friendly local as to a potential location to park and sleep. She replied with "Rattlesnake Drive" as did some of the bike shop employees did when I called them a few hours earlier. We head on up, and find three trailheads with gates and signs warning against camping. And that's it. Well, there were also plenty of big, fancy houses and hobby ranches, many adjacent to said trailheads. Sleep was beckoning, and we had no desire to all spend the night in the truck. All three of us. No way. Options weighed, we stayed in what appeared to be the most secluded of the trailheads. I woke up to the sounds of shuffling feet around my tent and plate numbers being muttered. (note: a white SUV is pretty visible from the road) Opening the tent flap with a cheerful "Hello!" brought a serious-looking guy over.

• guy: "You're not supposed to be here, there's signs all over that you had to see..."
• me: "Gosh, sir, I sure do apologize if we created a nuisance for you."
• guy: "Well, no, you didn't, but...there's not supposed to be camping here and there's signs everywhere," (at this point the song "Signs" starts going through my head, and unfortunately it's the Tesla version) "...and there's been people up here doing horrible things at this trailhead, and we have to live here." Keep in mind this is sort of like Triple Tree in Bozeman but with more Ponderosa pines.
• me: "I certainly am sorry. We got in real late last night (true) and there were no vacancies at the hotels (true) we were going to stay in (ok, not really true). Somebody told us about this place and we're just catching a few hours sleep before we head out again. I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, sir."
• guy: "Well, just don't be surprised when you get a ticket in the mail. You're lucky the Forest Service didn't catch you."

Thankfully, that was not to be a theme for the day.

A hasty packing and trip into town ensued while we were wondering what kinds of horrible things could have gone on up there. Wiley mentioned Father Rapin' but we were unable to remember the accommodating offenses mentioned in Alice's Restaurant. (Mother rapin' and Father stabbin')

In town, got a good parking spot, got coffee and a bagel while Casey worked on waking up for the next hour and a half. We were on our way to Caras Park right next to the river when I heard a "Hey John!!" from the sidewalk. I quickly stopped and hopped on over to find a friend of mine and her sister sauntering along. With some 'Hi's' and hugs I explained why we were in Missoula and with some more 'How are You's?' I learned that Brin's sister Ally is now living in Missoula and we could stay on her floor that night if we wanted to!

We arrived at the Tour de Fat about an hour and a half early, on account of our early wakin', so it was time for a bike ride! There's these nice bike paths going along the river and few things are better for a leisurely morning cruise than nice riverside bike paths. We cruised over a bridge, passed people running, people running with dogs, some transients, all sorts of people. We cruised past the UM stadium while the football types were setting up their party headquarters, including a "private, entry by invitation only" tailgate party, which seemed to me to be counter to the spirit of the tailgate party. But I've never claimed to care about football, so I'm probably missing something. We rode along the Kim Williams trail heading east until I got a flat, borrowed a tube from Casey, and we figured that would be a good time to turn around anyway.
At the park, the festivities were just beginning. Funny bikes, tall bikes, and even a log bike were being ridden around with every costume more entertaining than the last. Local non-profits were there, including a thrift store dressing those unfortunate enough to be without a costume. Sethanol and Elizabeth arrived and we moseyed on to the costume folks with Casey getting a housedress, Seth a pink and white dress, Elizabeth a schoolmarm/librarianesque getup, Wiley a quilted satin skirt and purple soccer jersey, and me a TIGHT yellow/pink/orange floralish shirt and some black/pink/purple capris.

The bike parade through town embarks with two guys with car stereo trailers (and car batteries, presumably) taking their places in the ride to ensure we are always within earshot of tunes. The ride goes well, passersby and motorists both enjoying the scene. All paused along the river as the tall bike crew tested their track racing prowess on the abandoned running track. We continued without incident, basking in the two-wheeled fellowship abounding that morning. Until I got a second flat. And my pump, tube, and patches are home in my messenger bag. Clumsy hands (me) manages to stick the single patch any of us possessed to itself, so a last-ditch effort of cutting and tying the tube was attempted. That held just enough air for me to tighten the axle nuts before it too gave up. Time to walk.

Now, being dressed up in a clashing outfit of tight women's shirt and loose women's capris gave me no concern when in the protection of people dressed in a similar fashion. I was a teensy bit more self-conscious walking down Broadway by myself, dressed like a Linda Richman on mescaline. After ten minutes of this, my angel in a housedress comes astride a black fixie with a whole and intact tube! Thanks, Casey!

Back at the party was standard Tour de Fat fare: Funny bikes to ride, bands, and beer. $4 a pint seemed a bit steep BUT there was no entrance fee and the proceeds went to local cycling groups. At least it kept me from getting drunk.
Highlights:

• Casey won the Slow Race
• That fried chicken came in handy
• Skinny Dip: really good on a hot day
• The five of us handed out about 300 copies of the Practical Pedal to an overwhelmingly enthusiastic audience
• Flamethrowing Pogo Sticks!!!
• Someone traded his car for a bike, getting a custom (and beautiful) Black Sheep commuter equipped with Campy Veloce, Fulcrum wheels, and a snazzy rack and pannier set

That evening, tired from all the fun, we got some revivement with coffee and made our way to Ally's place. After a few hours of chatting, drinking more beer, and playing with Ally's dog Maddie we retired; Casey and me to the floor, Wiley to the narrow sofabed.

The next morning was enjoyed with coffee at Ally's place and more coffee and cheap (but GOOD) day-old bagels at Liquid Planet (there will be a beer-inspired posting aout that in the future). The truck made it back without much clutch slipping. And at this point there's nothing else to write about.

Check out the Tour de Fat if you can. There's one at the New Belgium Brewery in October sometime. Worth the drive.

This is a link to some pictures.

I'm going, are you? Let me know a few days in advance so I can make couch arrangements.

We don't talk about bike club! We just show up, and have an alleycat. Sunday August 26th, a day that will live in infamy, or a least a day that proved that we do have a good thing going. The second summer alleycat in Bozeman was a rolling success. Nigh on 30 participants showed at Cooper park for their chance to claim the victory. A very respectable turnout for a former Montana cow-town.
At first there were groans as to the length of the course but as the racers settled down and started planning their routes it soon became apparent that this course would be one for the records. Its not as easy as you might think to get an alleycat to last more than an hour for the winner and still be less than three for DFL. There were scrapes, brushes with fences, a mishap with a sidewalk exit ramp, but for the most part all faired well. Headwind made a cameo appearance, sauntering in fashionably late, at a brisk 15mph out of the west. For the unlucky fools who chose to take the interstate (I am still laughing about that) from N. 17th to N. 19th I have two words for you "BAXTER LANE".
The winner, the pedal pusher extrodinaire, chief wheelman........Dasiy! Oops, I mean Dallas. Well, he was wearing a dress.

Thanks to all the sponsors, and I mean all. We had alot. Be sure to stop in an thank them for supporting the lunatic fringe......ok, maybe just say thank you for supporting cycling in Bozeman.

To all who missed it, tune in in October.

Pics can be found below

This is a link, click here

Here's another link to pictures.

These businesses have so far gotten behind our bicycle tomfoolery by donating some pretty nice prizes (details of which you'll get Sunday evening) and deserve your support and thanks:

Plonk!
Montana Fish Company!
Bangtail Bikes!
317!
Girls Outdoors!
Fleet Feet!
Rocky Creek Farm!
Rockford Coffee!

...and a couple more that I'm still working on.

I've got a bag full of stuff, and only a couple of items are going to the first place winners (men's and women's). That means that you are going to have to succeed in other ways to get a prize or two. I'm thinking Costume. I'm thinking Trackstand comp (and there IS some serious competition!). And don't forget the crowd favorite, the coveted Moxie award. Skids? Ok. Sure. Just be ready to prove yourself, or just be ready to have a helluva lot of fun.

Make sure you come by Cooper Park this Sunday, August 26th at 3pm for our next Alleycat. We've got prizes from Montana Fish Company, Fleet Feet, Specialized, Girls Outdoors, and drink specials from 317 after the race. Entry is 5 bucks and you're probably going to need a bag. Free maps can be obtained at the visitor's center on North 7th and a few other places in town. I'd heartily recommend you get one.
See you there, be ready to rock!

So it seems that every cloud has a silver lining. When life hands you lemons, make martinis. Every rose has its thorn. Less than one week after having the Man called on us for having fun at Bogert park we now have ourselves a better, dirtier, more subversive venue for our game. The old underground parking garage behind the Baxter, after three nights of sweeping, saw its maiden game played on it this Sunday past. The consensus? A resounding "Fuckin'A!"
Now check out the pictures, and come on by Wednesdays. 7:30 PM (we kinda need the lights).
Check it.

In the interest of having a bike polo venue, we are meeting at the underground parking lot behind the Baxter on Mendenhall this Saturday, August 18th to sweep. Casey and I will be there at 6 PM, and this will be a quick job if people can help. Thanks!

As some of you know, Evan is leaving our humble burgh of Bozeman for Chicago this weekend. I (and others) think that the only way to properly see him off is with a good, old-fashioned Pub Ride! How's about we start at Spectator's (cause i already agreed to go to a friend's birthday party there) at 8, then head on into town.

Sound good?
Good.

8pm Spec's.

p.s. I'm not going to the Eagles. just so you know.

Lame.
After four weeks of friendly bike polo, four weeks of not causing any problems, four weeks of two-wheeled fellowship somebody finally called to complain about some people having innocent fun. Officially, we are not allowed to play at the Bogert pavilion on Wednesdays and not past 8. We've been playing only on Wednesdays until 9:30. Yes, contrary to the letter of the law, but there exist those who are perpetually displeased with their lives and must drag others down to their level of ongoing misery.
I'll stop there. This level of bitterness is not beneficial to anyone.
So, we are currently on the prowl for a new venue to partake in our innocent and non-malicious bike games. Enter the perennially unused parking garage behind the Baxter hotel. Tonight we swept. Tomorrow we will do the same. Saturday as well, if needed. And Sunday evening, probably around 5, bike polo in Bozeman will resume.
I WILL see you there!

I'm starting something new here. Today, (only about a month late) I'm embarking on a mission to round up sponsors for our next alleycat (August 26th!). So, what my plan is, is to put up a picture and a blurb about every one of these local establishments who support what we do and the greater cycling community.
First, a big thanks to Kevin at Montana Fish Company on Main in downtown Bozeman. Kevin has spent most of his life in the bike world and has generously donated a gift certificate to his store. I'm not going to divulge too much info, you'll just have to come by the race to find out what it is. You should also go there and spend money there.

See you on the 26th!

This is Rob. He works at the shop. Most hats don't fit him too well.

Another test- Here's a shot of my friend Mike in NY trying (not too hard) at being a dork. Yes, he is doing a no-handed trackstand. Yes, he is checking his email or messages or portfolio on his Blackberry.

Test run- I'm trying to set up the blog so that I can set up posts and pictures through my phone.
This makes me happy. A couple of our customers taking a test run on their fully pannier-and-Chariot-trailer equipped Santana tandem. This is what I want to be like when (if) I have a family.

This will be quick, because I have to go to work.
Sunday, August 26th, will be the next Alleycat. It will probably start at Cooper Park at 3 like they've been.

OK, see ya there.

Pictures

Poking around, looking for local bike polo (dis)organizations, I found this from the Warlocks blog in Boise:

That's right, Hellracer 3 is slated for the 27th of October. Last year Bizzle and I had a BLAST racing there. Something that more Bozemanites should experience. So make your plans now. I'm going.