I've always found myself attracted to the fairer sex and have even dated a few of them with pretty good success. So you can imagine how much it took me by surprise to learn that not only I, but apparently all bicyclists are faggots. According to this speeding prophet who was so excited to share his news, stuck his whole head out the passenger window to inform me that, "Only faggots ride bikes!"
I was quite taken aback by this news as it means not only am I a faggot, but apparently all the people I've been hanging around with lately. Now I'm a pretty sensitive guy when it comes to peoples life choices and I thought I had a pretty good sense of who people are but this new information has proved me wrong. I have some friends who I'd have never guessed were faggots. But, according to the wise man in the Jeep on Olive street those friends of mine are all just faggots.
So in conclusion I welcome all the faggots in the land to stand up, quit being shy of your faggotness and let the world know just how faggoty you are. And that you're proud to be a faggot. Long live faggots!
See the rest of the story here.
EDIT: Originally from here.
Get your friends, and get to the place at 7.
For you normal folks, Utterli takes Twitter a step further by allowing text, audio, and visual posts via computer or cell phone. There's a bit of a Facebook-like quality with Utterli as well, since one can create groups which anyone can belong to. Fix Utterli updates will show up on the big white box to the right. The hope is that stuff not really worth putting a whole post about will end up there.
So yeah, we're going to throw more useless content at you. We're nerds, what can I say?
Yes, it's a game. (?)
"Please explain, in a paragraph or more, why you would like to join MPLSFixed and what you hope to gain from - and contribute to - this forum, Single sentence applications like "I like bikes" will not be approved."To which I propmtly tried to join in, because one of the only thing better than snorting in derision towards the lowly geared riders is hanging out with people who are almost as good as me.
Think I'll get in?
Labels: the streets
Cap'n E picked hisself up a load-haulin' bike that wants to out load-haulin' bike THE load-haulin' bike. Naturally, this prompted the Practical Pedal folks to propose a little Madsen / Xtracycle shootout.
Time to haul some schitt!!
That does not mean, however, that you need to stop commuting by bike, much less stop having fun riding through town.
For fun and effective winter riding, you need to focus a bit more on three things: Tires, clothes, and fenders.
Tires: Carbide Studded. That's it (for BZN, at least). Anything less than two carbide-studded tires won't do crap. Sorry, that's how it is. There's one discount brand (Innova) with hardened steel studs but those tend to wear out faster than the MASH SF crews' rear tires.
Good studded tires are expensive- there's no way around it. But if you're serious about winter commuting they're necessary. Can you imagine a tennis player without wristbands? Exactly.
Expect to spend about $150 on a set. Think of it as an investment (they'll last a few years) and insurance (you'll (usually) stay upright). Now that you've made the decision to get a set, you need to decide on what width. In 700, Schwalbe makes a 35 and 45mm. I've got the 35's, so I might be a bit biased.
But that's only 'cuz they ROCK. Nokian makes 45's as does Kenda. Personally, I prefer the Schwalbe's tread for street use. In 26" the narrowest I've seen is 1.8, again by Schwalbe. Full size 26x2.1 and wider can be had by Nokian and Kenda, but if you're looking for the best all-around winter commuter tire, go with the thinnest you can. A wider tire tends to feel a bit more stable and predictable on glare ice, but will wander and drift when you hit deep/churned snow and slush. Thinner tires with a more rounded profile will cut through the thick mashed-potatoey snow a lot better.
Clothes: Multiple thin layers. Preferably wool. This morning, at 9 degrees I had thin Smartwool underwear top and bottom. Mid-thick wool socks, my favorite Endura knickers, Nike soft-shell jacket, a thin cap under my helmet, and fleese-lines leather hardware store gloves rounded out my ensemble. Since I ride clipless, I got a pair of Pearl Izumi GTX Mid GoreTex cycling shoes. A little bit spendy, but less than dedicated winter cycling shoes and they still provide decent warmth. They also look like sneakers.
Aim for being a bit chilly when you first get on the bike, that way you're less likely to get overheated a few minutes into your ride. Sunglasses with lightly-tinted lenses help to keep yer eyeballs from freezing!
Fenders: You wanna know what's worse than having your girlfriend (or boyfriend) find out your secret miniature dachsund puppy porn collection? Bike commuting without fenders. Really. Even when the temps drop to well below freezing there's still plenty of the messy slushy stuff that will get flung onto your crotch from both wheels. How's that sound, Mr. Poopy-pants?
I'm also a fan of fixed-gear bikes for winter. And summer. Spring and fall too. Anyone who wants to maximize their riding vs. maintenance time should consider one. Plus you have more control in the snow and ice. Unless you're riding like this guy.
Clouds still hung over town, reflecting the orange glow characteristic of sodium vapor lights. They continued at a stately pace towards the east with a barely perceptible breeze enough to just notice your hair being brushed. Over the Bridger Mountains, over the Bangtails, over the Crazies, each time depositing a bit more snow on the western foothills and slopes.
I stood on the sidewalk in amazement at this sight. Streetlights reflected off the thin layer of ice on the road, buffed to a sheen by passing cars. Two inches of fairly light snow on top, enough to easily slice through with my 35mm tires but just dense enough to drift through turns if I wanted to. I was headed home from a friend's place, and it was a quick North then East route to get home, not even a mile. I wouldn't even be warm by the time I arrived.
I headed West instead. The side streets, silent with most people staying in this first real winter night, were blissful. My studded tires made a subtle sound on the smoother ice, much like a zipper. The rare slushy areas at intersections posed no problem either with my full fenders and ample Surly mudflap. Fixed gear for freedom in this season- freedom from skipping chains, slipping freewheels, frozen derailleurs, icy brakes.
Turning on to Main street I let the front get a bit loose and deftly brought the bike back to a state of dynamic stability by giving the back a wiggle- now there's two wheels drifting...nice. Stopped at a light, a Suburban pulls up. The driver is safe and warm in his steel and plastic cocoon. I am safe with the control my bicycle provides and warm from the joy that only comes from physical exertion. The light turns green, I easily get the holeshot. I ride the wave of green lights for five blocks, the Suburban falls behind a bit more with every light. Finally I turn off and head out to the industrial part of town. The familiar orange glow is more visible now and clearly delineates the clouds. An occasional streak of red and white light signals a car on the interstate. I cross the tracks and take a quick left onto the spur trail towards the old mill. A mile of powder and even more solitude is my reward. Over the bridge and back on the dirt road to head back into town, I'm riding faster and quieter than I ever have here without the dry gravel slowing me down.
It's another lap down main street, then catching and passing an Audi driver. I've got a few more side streets to ride before I get home, but by now I'm getting the feel of the tires when I'm cornering, leaning a bit more, taking the turns a bit faster. I roll in my driveway and brush the cold powder off my legs before walking in to my place.
Winter provides some of the best cycling opportunities. You just have to see them.
Meet at 317 for drinks at 9 instead.
Wanna not feel guilty about eating tomorrow? Want to eat more? Then ride with us in the morning.
Thanksgiving morning, 10am. At the Co-op (no other coffee shop is open). We're meeting for a ride about town. The more inappropriate the bike, the better. We'll meander through town and eventually end up on some town trails. Figure on about 2 or so hours.
More wierdness. (takes a bit to load. Patience.)
Let's get a polo game together on Sunday so she can come kick it with us. And although the Old English lettering on her fingers in the picture is awesome she'll be the first to admit she's glad it's not a real tatoo.
So call the people you know who don't read the blog and tell your friends and family on Thanksgiving that we're going be rockin' it on Sunday. If you know you will or won't be there post a comment below. If it seems like no one can show then her and I figure something else out.
But this week Capn' E got a bike that out-utilities all other load carrying bikes: the Madsen. Built as an affordable, simple, utilitarian bike for hauling groceries, kids, firewood...well anything that fits in or on its bin.
Naturally, we thoroughly check its capabilities by utilizing our customary testing process:
- drink some beers
- go for a ride
As you can probably see from the pics, it passed. Thumbs up. Very success.
Tom and I promised you forums. So forums have been created. Visit said forums on t3h Web spaces at:
Also, if you're on Facebook check out the Bozeman Bike Polo group. I'll be important things on there too in the future. Maybe more, since it's really easy to use.
Ok, see you tonight!
I'll have my drill and bits and a hacksaw. Maybe I'll pick up some epoxy. You'll need to provide your own grip tape (hockey tape works well, available at Summit or Army-Navy) and pipe. Try to find 2" O.D. PVC will work but eventually will break- you've been warned. Sam might bring some ABS.
Ok, see you there.
EDIT- Donations for supplies will be gladly accepted.
Oh, and my other question is why the fuck aren't you coming to polo on Wednesdays?
Anyway, here's some (trippy) pics:
Dear United States of America:
You have made me proud. You managed to wade through the slough of partisan discontent and bitterness, you worked together and voted in an historic election. You helped to put some of the final nails in the coffin of racial antagonism. You came out in record numbers to send a message that We, as a nation, are calling the shots and We will no longer allow ourselves to be led in the direction we've been in.
Let's all strive to remember this time, let's not forget what is important to us, as a nation. Let's all work together to make this country the beacon of opportunity and justice that it should be.
Thanks to C-note for the video footage (pretty good, considering it's a handheld digicam) and to all you bike freaks that came out to play.
oh- and thanks to the 208 guys for some "ideas". Heh.
What I do want to bring up is something I saw today, something that gave me a smidgen more respect for our future president.
He's filed a police report, so if you find it just call the cops.
Keep yer eyes peeled!
Anyway, somebody left a scarf, and I've got it. Email me if you want it back.
That's all I have to say.
Finally, we have a chance at getting some real technical trails in the mountains surrounding Bozeman. The Forest Service lets us go and design and build a trail that is intended to be not only an introduction to some DH specific trails, but a means of seeing the level of commitment the local mountain bike community possesses.
And what happens? within weeks of the trail's completion, some morons go and build jumps. Not even well thought out jumps with nice transitions, nice flow- shitty jumps with flat landings. Sweet. Why go through the trouble to do that work up in Leverich when there's perfectly good loading docks to huck off of in town? Check out John P's post on the Bozeman Trail Report for the details.
Between this and the Critical Mass silliness, I feel like I'm surrounded by assholes!
Note to self: When dressed as a middle-aged Jewish woman, maybe wait a little longer before going to where the alleycat ends. Especially if its early evening and the pizza place is filled with families.
Anyway, lawng story short, our Halloween alleycat went well and was a great time. 20ish people showed up (and not all guys this time!) to do battle with the course, made more difficult with the formidable wind. And about that second manifest? Not sorry. I'm not sorry about the climb above the dump either. I though you would've appreciated a nice vantage point with which to see the sunset.
The fastest riders took about two hours to complete the course, with the final stragglers rolling in something like 30-40 minutes later (I had no watch, so sue me). Steve finished first for the guys and Holly beat out the rest of the women. Most everybody put some good thought and time into their costumes. I won't comment any more on them, just see for yourself.
After beer and pizza at Columbo's most of us rode down to 317 for some trackstand competition (winner: Andrew) and more beer. And more befuddled looks and asinine comments. I wouldn't expect the regular Saturday night 317 crowd to get it.
Thanks to everyone who raced- these things only get more fun with more people.
And Very Special thanks to tart and Stan at Native Optics for the prizes. Well, they were intended for the Velorution Party and Saddle Royale punk bike enduro, but the snow kept the intended recipients away.
See you next time...we do something. There's ideas flying around.
OH- and Andrew's putting on a thing at Bogert (I think) Saturday the 1st (I think) at 7(?). You might want to check those details.
Hey, at least he shaved.
I'm sure a real write up of the Velo De Los Muertos will be forthcoming, but I didn't want to deprive you all of that...and by that, I mean I wanted your eyes to bleed as much as mine.
See you at Bogert. Yes it's at the same place as where the Critical Mess ends, we'll not be there long.
Oh- I've got lots of prizes too. Make sure you thank these guys:
See you this evening.
Now, one might get the impression that this is something that us here at The Fix would be all about. Bikes! Illegal activities on bikes! Schwinn Airdynes!(?)
But in reality, as much as I love getting a bunch of people together to ride fast through traffic, and as much as I love doing that, I LOATHE Critical Mass. Or more succinctly, what it has become. Especially in Bozeman.
I'm going to get on my curmudgeonly soapbox here. BOZEMAN IS ONE OF THE MOST PLEASANT TOWNS TO RIDE IN. I've ridden where it's shitty- about the worst was Boston in the mid-90's when it was consistently voted "Worst city for bicycling in North America" by Bicycling magazine. Believe you me, Bozeman is blissful. When the worst problem is motorists who are too nice and stop when they don't need to and screw up your plan, there's no fucking need for a Critical Mess.
Ok. I'm calm now.
Besides, why does it have to have anything to do with Obama? What's next? Ski Joring for Obama? Wheat-free cookie baking for Obama? Prince Albert Aficionados for Obama?
I suspect that those who created this event disagree with our involvement in Iraq. Chief among the complaints about us going to war is that we ignored diplomatic recourse and headed right in with guns a-blazin'.
Now, if you feel that on the home front, us cyclists are at war with motorists, oil companies, government, whatever; do we act in the same way that our government has acted? Do we resort to the citizen's equivalent of a "rush to war"? Do we exhaust diplomatic options prematurely?
If you feel that a Critical Mass is necessary in Bozeman, look in the mirror. You'll see a Neocon. Hypocrite.
Here's a link to the site. Tell 'em what you think.
The last few weeks have seen some fantastic games. Fast, hard, and sometimes, someone gets dragged behind a bike.
C'mon down to the playground behind the Hawthorne school. It's just about the most fun you can have on two wheels. Well, there is that alleycat coming this weekend...
Read the story here:
Kung Fu at it's finest!
See you then.
Meet at Rockford Coffee at noon.
From there, you will attend other events. Not telling what those are, but one does involve a bbq.
6pm, Saturday night is the Velorution Party at the Lindley center. Movies, DJ, Beer,
10am, Sunday Morning. Meet at Rockford for coffee and a leisurely cruise to Lindley Park to watch the Cyclocross race. Various noise-making devices are heartily encouraged. Gin will not be provided.
After the race- more Saddle Royale!
See you there.
Chuck Norris says get your saddle weary ass to the bike fest this weekend or else!
If you want to play, swing by my place and pick up the mallets, they'll be outside.
First, I want to give a big "Hell Yeah!" to all 17 of you came out to play today. I was impressed with the numbers that came out, willing to hurt themselves by riding sixty miles on their fixed gears. I'm also impressed with how EVERYONE finished- it wasn't an easy course (especially the last dirt section- hehe).
Props go to John Y. who finished in a flat three hours (!). He rode home with the only prize- a fistful of cash. Here's the finishing order:
- John Y. 3:00
- Casey 3:16
- Marshall 3:17
- Sten 3:18
- Tim 3:22
- Sam 3:22
- Nash 3:22
- Andrew 3:36
- Me 3:41
- Tom 3:42
- Seth 3:42
- Alex 3:56
- Alfred 3:56
- William 3:56
- Alex 4:07
- Matthew 4:12
- Brian 4:13
- Ryan 4:14
The alleycat start was a blast- It doesn't really matter how long the ride is and how much you feel you need to pace yourself, you start riding in traffic with a bunch of other guys and it's a damn race!
The rain mostly held off- some of us got pelted with hail but that felt really good at the time.
Ryan earned his DFL. Early on the first dirt section some guys stopped suddenly and Ryan ended up hitting the deck. That was the last I saw of him until the finish, when he rolled up with a nice, clean deer skull on his stem. He also got two flats.
Those beers at Sir Scott's Oasis in Manhattan sure were tasty!
The evil headwind that can always pop up out in the middle of the valley mercifully stayed away.
Beatty Road. That climb. I've never felt such pain in my legs as on that hill. Blackwood Road was tough too.
Nobody got hit by a car and everybody finished. You all rock!
Thanks to Sam for taking some pics, Casey for getting the spoke cards printed, and Randy for taking care of recording everyone's finishing times. And for taking pics on the course.
I'll be working on putting together a video for later in the week. Until then, keep riding and I'll see you this weekend at the Saddle Royale!
Sam's got some pics here.
Here's a Google Map of the route.
ps. Got a flyer for some bike fun this Friday: the rangnar open, Friday, Oct 10th. 7pm. Bogert Park. Footdown, trackstand comp, sprints. Yeah!
I was also smitten with a sudden sense of generosity. So to reward those of you who don't merely use this blog as an escape from your daily wage-earning drudgery and actually read it for the articles I present to you:
See you tomorrow. And I'll be riding with yas too.
That's when and where the pain starts. Especially if the weather forecast holds.
See you tomorrow!
Section 211 of the Senate Bailout bill states:
“(a) In General- Paragraph (1) of section 132(f) is amended by adding at the end the following:
`(D) Any qualified bicycle commuting reimbursement.’.
(b) Limitation on Exclusion- Paragraph (2) of section 132(f) is amended by striking `and’ at the end of subparagraph (A), by striking the period at the end of subparagraph (B) and inserting `, and’, and by adding at the end the following new subparagraph:
`(C) the applicable annual limitation in the case of any qualified bicycle commuting reimbursement.’.
(c) Definitions- Paragraph (5) of section 132(f) is amended by adding at the end the following:
`(F) DEFINITIONS RELATED TO BICYCLE COMMUTING REIMBURSEMENT-
- `(i) QUALIFIED BICYCLE COMMUTING REIMBURSEMENT- The term `qualified bicycle commuting reimbursement’ means, with respect to any calendar year, any employer reimbursement during the 15-month period beginning with the first day of such calendar year for reasonable expenses incurred by the employee during such calendar year for the purchase of a bicycle and bicycle improvements, repair, and storage, if such bicycle is regularly used for travel between the employee’s residence and place of employment.
`(ii) APPLICABLE ANNUAL LIMITATION- The term `applicable annual limitation’ means, with respect to any employee for any calendar year, the product of $20 multiplied by the number of qualified bicycle commuting months during such year.
`(iii) QUALIFIED BICYCLE COMMUTING MONTH- The term `qualified bicycle commuting month’ means, with respect to any employee, any month during which such employee–
- `(I) regularly uses the bicycle for a substantial portion of the travel between the employee’s residence and place of employment, and
`(II) does not receive any benefit described in subparagraph (A), (B), or (C) of paragraph (1).’.
(d) Constructive Receipt of Benefit- Paragraph (4) of section 132(f) is amended by inserting `(other than a qualified bicycle commuting reimbursement)’ after `qualified transportation fringe’.
(e) Effective Date- The amendments made by this section shall apply to taxable years beginning after December 31, 2008.”
Congress sent a bill to the Prez Wednesday (and passed) regarding rail safety. I don't know the details, but I do know that Jon Tester included wording in the bill that would require Amtrak to consider restoring the North Coast Hiawatha Route, following I-94 and I-90 from Glendive to Missoula.
We'll certainly have to bring the alleycat and polo scene to Missoula and Billings if this happens. (Makes your Missoula Alleycat idea a bit more feasible C-Note? Hehe.)
Ideally, the line would continue to the west coast. I didn't find anything about that, so if you're interested in being able to take the train from Bozeman to Portland or Seattle call or write Tester and Amtrak.
John Tester's Site.
What is it?
Saddle-Royale is a 2-day punkbike enduro style race. One bike, many events.
VELOrution Party takes place on Saturday, October 11th at the Lindley Center. Beer, stupid bike games, bike polo, music, movies, and more will be happening.
ALL PROCEEDS DIRECTLY BENEFIT THE BOZEMAN BIKE KITCHEN!!
Check out the VELOrution Bozeman site for more info, or check back here.
ps. Don't forget about the Fixty60 this weeked!
Over on the LA Times there's a story about the version of the bailout bill that passed the Senate. And while I usually stay away from overtly political content here (and how the situation that lead to the 'need' of said bailout bill developed) there appears to be a shred of common sense inhabiting some representatives:
"It also includes a tax benefit for bicycle commuting sought by Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.), also a no vote on Monday. And there's an extension of the renewable energy tax credit..."
Are those elements likely to become reality? I sure hope so. Bicycle use and the idea of a great, powerful America are not mutually exclusive.
I friend of mine recently had her bike stolen. Keep an eye out.
Saturday morning I woke up to find that my bike was stolen. I was hoping everyone could keep an eye out for it.
It is a Bianchi Milano women's cruiser/road bike. It is teal with red and black grips, tires and seat. There are rear baskets on either side of the seat. The right grip (leather) is all ripped up from an accident I had last year. It is an eight-speed twist shift with a Shimano Nexus internal hub.
The picture attached is the closest thing I could find on the internet, but keep in mind that my bike would have a lower top tube, as it is a women’s-specific frame, and the rear saddle baskets (though these could have been removed).
If you have any information, or see it around town PLEASE let me know. Here is the serial # for the bike, as there are a couple of them around Bozeman: HSL24011. The serial number is on the underside of the bottom bracket. There is also an MSU bike registration sticker under one of the fenders. It is number 7271.
If someone you know has recently acquired one of these, please tell them to return it to 513 W. Curtiss – no questions asked.
Email any info to firstname.lastname@example.org
I should have used my new keyboard to type up the announcement:
Otherwise, it was a fun night. Drink some beers at Spectator's, ride waaaaay to fast on the Sourdough Nature Trail, wreck, ride slightly more sanely to 317, drink more beers. All in all, a good night.
And for something completely irrelevant, things seem to be quiet across the pond.
Now for maths.
Current polo mallet stock in John's quiver: 11 mallets
Average mallet head size: 7.5 inches
Individual requests for material thus far: 9" (Alex), 7.5" (Sam), (total 16.5")
Material left after individual requests: 43.5" (enough to fix 5 public mallets)
I am going to order 5' of material next week. Some will go to Alex, some will go to me and then the rest will go to fix five of the public mallets. Donations to cover this cost will be appreciated. Better yet, contact me in advance with how much you'd like to donate before I order to offset the cost of purchasing more than 5 feet so we can replace all the mallet heads with ABS.
samh [at] samh [dot] net