Last night as I was riding my bicycle home from a pleasant dinner party I gained new insight into my life. A Jeep Cherokee speeding by me on Olive street let me in on a little secret that it seems I would have known about myself but apparently didn't - that I'm a faggot.
I've always found myself attracted to the fairer sex and have even dated a few of them with pretty good success. So you can imagine how much it took me by surprise to learn that not only I, but apparently all bicyclists are faggots. According to this speeding prophet who was so excited to share his news, stuck his whole head out the passenger window to inform me that, "Only faggots ride bikes!"
I was quite taken aback by this news as it means not only am I a faggot, but apparently all the people I've been hanging around with lately. Now I'm a pretty sensitive guy when it comes to peoples life choices and I thought I had a pretty good sense of who people are but this new information has proved me wrong. I have some friends who I'd have never guessed were faggots. But, according to the wise man in the Jeep on Olive street those friends of mine are all just faggots.
So in conclusion I welcome all the faggots in the land to stand up, quit being shy of your faggotness and let the world know just how faggoty you are. And that you're proud to be a faggot. Long live faggots!
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The Bozeman Fix
The Bozeman fix is about bicycles in Bozeman, Montana. We like riding, racing, fixed gears, mountain bikes, alleycats, hardcourt bike polo, community, drinking beer, and all the good stuff that comes along with having bike love and leading the bike life.
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13 comments:
How ironic, because when I used to own a Jeep Cherokee, I always avoided Olive Street, because I was told that only the most homosexual of homosexuals drove Jeep Cherokees on Olive. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) Maybe he wanted to cuddle with you.
Wow. Maybe Mrs. sEthanol (Isopropyl-sEthanol?) and Lady E should get a tandem.
Joey, Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
If sometimes I ride a bike and sometimes I drive, does that make me bi? Or just curious?
This new lifestyle is tough, I never knew how tough (and cold!) it was to ride a bike in leather pants!
That mustache suits you though.
Roman Baths, count me in. Only if its steamy. Funny though, how often I catch similar shit from people riding in warm cars. (curiously, mostly when i'm not riding like an asshole). Is it OK to "lose control" of said faggot mobile and ghost it into the side of inherently hetero truck at the next signal light? Just wonderin.
I've "knocked" on a couple windows before...
I've actually had them throw LIT cigarettes at me while riding down 19th street. White Jeep Cherokee, wonder if there is a connection? I also had a guy yell "FUCKING HIPPIES" and throw a rock at me about 2 years ago on Lincoln street (right in front of Roskie Hall) from a lifted small penis pickup. Had he hit me I don't know what his plan was...
Do you like movies about Gladiators?
I'm married with two kids and I've never had sex with a man...I didn't know I was so conflicted until somebody called me a fag as I was out riding somewhere. I'm glad they set me "strait".
Little did you know, Jason.
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