Schlitzmas Pub Ride Report

Here goes my second attempt at writing the December 16th Pub Ride report. The madcap hijinks started at the Bozone Brewery on North Broadway. A few fine handcrafted beers were downed lending a nice glow to fend off the cold (10 degrees) night. I was a bit dismayed at the sparse showing of participants, but once I understood that not everyone places such a high priority on the joy of drinking I cheered up. It was either that or the cask-conditioned IPA. That stuff cheers me up anytime. Leaving the Bozone Evan realized that the snowboard lock he used to lock up his bike had self-reset its combination. Panicked twiddling of dials ensued, followed by a good tug and broken lock parts falling to the loading zone below. Sorry, Evan…the ride must go on.
Next was the Robin, with a quick stop at Captain E’s to pick up his memory card. Mark at the Robin was kind enough to give us a 20% discount on food and drink. Nobody was hungry, but all were thirsty as we used that kind discount to our advantage. Thankfully, some straggling members of the ride sauntered in as well as some tagalongs who drove. We welcomed them anyway. Bizzle, Sethela, and Eric B#2 all rode or walked. Leroy the Gimp (Elizabeth) was given a courtesy spoke card as she is still recovering from bones sticking out of her leg-not a good combination with icy roads and bikes.
Leaving the Robin, we headed a couple of blocks downtown to Plonk. Steve at Plonk also gave us a 20% discount. Thanks Steve! I was a bit late in leaving the Robin (cuz I made it clear we appreciated the hospitality-I hope others did too) so I hightailed it down to the next stop. 5 drinks inspired more confidence than I should have had in the relationship between my tires and pavement, leading me to make an unintentionally dramatic entrance at Plonk. Hard on the gas, take a left to beat traffic, on the sidewalk at about 18 MPH, try to do a spectacular fixie skid, and slide right into the front of the bar. I wish I did it in summer, when the front windows are opened. Thankfully, I was close enough (on) the ground to keep from entering via the glass front. A good amount of drinks were consumed, but some members of the ride felt uncomfortable with all that culture (real or imagined) flying around. I rather liked the stares of contempt.
Next was an unplanned stop at the Eagle. Before our departure, however, I decided that Seth’s bike was safer 8 feet up in a tree. I assume that we collectively headed to the Eagles for some $1.50 PBRs and a little blue-collar deprogramming after Plonk. The Eagle was interesting as usual, and strangely comfortable until I discovered the circuit breaker panel in the open for anyone to fiddle with. Well, since these were about the oldest circuit breakers I have ever seen, and since I had about 6 or 7 drinks in me I hit one of the breakers. I think that I was the most surprised out of anyone when the lights for the band shut off! I quickly turned the lights back on, sat down, and continued drinking my beer. In the next 5 minutes I met the grumpiest elf I have ever met as he implored me to “don’t touch the fucking breakers”. Wow. I think that was the first time I heard a 70 year-old drop the F-bomb. 3 minutes later another self-appointed member of the Eagles Circuit Breaker Panel Security Posse told me not to touch the breakers. I responded with a polite “I’m not touching the panel”. She asked in a rather gruff manner if I needed to “meet the bouncer”. I replied with “well, I’m sure he’s a fine upstanding gentleman. If he has the time, I would be delighted to make his acquaintance.” Wrong answer. Within the minute, E.C.B.P.S.P. lady came back with one of the bouncers! We chatted for a bit, actually got along famously, and parted ways. At this point most of our beers were empty and despite my success in talking us out of getting thrown out, we decided that we no longer felt comfortable and left.
I do have one minor suggestion for the Eagles Club: If you decide to provide the means to get people drunk and rowdy, and you desire to keep the circuit panel where it is, GET A FRIKKIN’ DOOR FOR IT!!! Many modern panels come standard with lock just for this reason.
At this point, our battle against attrition was slipping as we headed to the Pour House with a few less people. I was relieved to see that the new pizza joint in the Bozeman Hotel building is open to 3am on weekends. Decent pizza, too! A quick run for pizza helped to provide some real nourishment to balance the copious amounts of alcohol (uhhh…7 drinks?) before heading into the Pour House. Two double screwdrivers (each) were on the menu for Sethela and me. I thought we could have used some vitamin c.
That pretty much sums up the First Ever Bozeman Pub Ride. I want to again mention Steve at Plonk and Mark at the Robin. These guys were quite literally excited to have the opportunity to be a part in this. Everyone needs to stop in these places and thank them, or at least the bartenders so we can continue to have their support.

More Pub Ride updates! .......updated again!

In the immortal words of Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith: "I love it when a plan comes together."

I just returned from talking to various bars downtown, and here's what's going on: Start at the Bozone (we already knew this), 20% discount on all drinks and food at the Robin, 20% discount at Plonk, and Vodka specials at the Pour House. There's always the Legion for cheap drinks- I was going to run in there to ask for specials until I saw the saign for their Saturday night specials. I think $1 beers are cheap enough. I still haven't heard from the 317, so don't count on anything there. Make sure that you thank the participating bars for this...the managers at Plonk and The Robin were quite excited to have something like the pub ride happen. Let's keep this going.

Also, try to bring cash. At the Robin everything goes on one tab, so some real money will make that easier. Thanks.

As always, details will be forthcoming as they happen.

Pub Ride Update

Ok, everyone-here's the juicy details: We've decided to forgo the racing aspect this weekend and instead distill this Saturday's event to the two most important elements: Riding and Drinking. Join us this Saturday evening at The Bozone for a couple of good beers before we descend into the pit of two-wheeled drunken mayhem in our first attempt at a Pub Ride. We'll probably head to the Pour House and then on down the line. Bring a toy to donate, I'll bring them to some charity that I will decide on this week. See you there!

Bozone Brewery, North Broadway



Mid-December, still little snow. While the hardcore (or hardcore wannabe) skiers gave their skis an early-season stone grind yesterday, I went for a fixie ride. Noon: Sunny, mid 40's, no wind. Perfect riding conditions. I started up Bridger Canyon Rd, intending to ride up to Bridger Bowl, if I could make it. For some reason, my inner masochist caused my bike to veer right onto Kelly Canyon Rd-straight up the snow-covered 14% grade. This on my 42x14 gearing. I nearly made the whole climb, only walking up the steepest part. That 15t cog is going on my bike before the next ride. Made it over the hill, waited for the timid driver in the Range Rover to pass, then unleashed the fury for the ride down.
Later that night was the informal Shop Holiday Gathering at Ale Works, with just about everyone showing up, including Basil Hayden, Elmer T. Lee, and Elijah Craig. As the glasses of fine bourbon were emptied in rapid succession, the conversation continued its steady decline to ice cube and fork hucking, finally settling to a 'discussion' between Captain E and myself on the merits, real or imagined, of imitation cabbage: "Kabbage".

I apologize to the help at Ale works for dealing with our shenanigans. Please let us back.

In other news, it seems as if this Saturday's event might not include a race at all. I have gotten too many negative comments about racing at night, in winter, in the cold that there will only be a pub crawl. I am going to try to get some bars on board for drink specials...but no promises yet. So, Pub Crawl, no racing (we'll see after some beers are downed), and ALL are welcome, as long as you're on a bike. I'd still like to have a toy drive...I just have to find out where I could take them. See you Saturday!

The Long Bike

There's been some discussion lately about the Xtracycle , so I figured that I should just go ahead and post some pics of it. It's a Trek Rail 1 women's frame with a worn out Judy SL fork, 9 speed, and a very burly Hugi Tandem rear hub laced to a Sun Mammoth rim. These things are fantastic-I can carry a whole load of groceries, 4+ cases of beer, a passenger, etc. Makes my car last longer, as I drive it about twice a month.

Merry Schlitzmas!

Mark those calendars, cancel those holiday party plans. December 16th will be the next race!
A little different theme this time. The details are still being worked out, but I think that it will be something like a race, either a drag race in town or a point-to-point race (like from Spectator's to the Filler), followed by a good old-fashioned Pub Crawl. Maybe there will be some sort of Gift requirement for kids thrown in, too. We'll see. Keep checking back, details will be posted as soon as they're....created.

December 3rd Alleycat results

Yesterday's Alleycat went off without a hitch. John with the old carbon Epic did a great job organizing it. This time, we had a humanitarian twist thrown in, as racers had to stop at various grocery stores, pick up specific cans of goods, a turkey (or 2) and deliver them to the Gallatin Valley Food Bank.
The Manifest:
  • Start: Cooper Park
  • Safeway: can of Safeway brand corn or beans
  • Heeb's: Western Family potatoes or beets
  • Bogert Park: go down the slide
  • Southside Park: ride across the skating rink
  • Joe's Parkway: can of Campbell's soup
  • 4something S 14th: ride (walk) the north shore course
  • Albertson's: can of Albertson's fruit
  • Town & Country: 15 lb frozen turkey
  • Gallatin Valley Food Bank: drop off food
  • Cooper Park
Thankfully, the roads were pretty good, allowing those of us on fixed gears and skinny tires to SMITE those with mountain bikes. I was lucky in that from Safeway to Heeb's I hit EVERY green light and managed to pass some cars with aplomb, only to be held up by my inabilty to find the canned veggies at Heeb's (heeheh). Further hangups occured at Joe's Parkway when I got stuck behind 2 preppie chicks who were dismayed because they couldn't buy a candy bar with Mommie's AMEX. At Town & Country I figured I'd better carry 2 turkeys, since the fellow competitors would as well (an extra turkey took a minute off your time). This strategy appeared to be working satisfactorily, with the provided duct tape shoulder strap holding the second turkey semi-securely on top of my bag. The intersection at Durston/Peach and 7th enlightened me to my error, when the second turkey skittered across the intersection the way a bowling ball would if one had released it at 20 MPH. Strange looks from motorists ensued as I retrieved the rogue turkey and proceeded to carry it not unlike one carries a football, just a bit heavier and colder. The rest of the race was fairly uneventful, although Sethela did not know where on Bond St. the food bank was on. Minutes passed as the fruitless search brought him to the espresso hut across the street, until Captain E arrived.

Top three finishers:
Captain Entropy
Here's some pictures:

Big thanks to John for putting on the race, to Evan and.....the other people who helped (sorry, forgot your names). We'll see what the next race brings, I'm thinking maybe drag races down town follwed by a pub crawl. I'll keep this updated.

December 3rd Alleycat!!

Ok, I know that it's December, and there's snow on the ground, and it's gonna be cold. But I KNOW that there's plenty of people willing to hurt themselves, especially for a good cause. Besides, the skiing's not that good yet.

Test your Mettle! I'll see you on Sunday. This guy's gonna be there too:

For those of you who are paranoid:

Think the MAN is reading your thoughts? Been contemplating a foil hat? Read this.....

Next Race!

I found out yesterday that the next Bozeman Alleycat is going to be held on Sunday, December 3rd. John (with the old carbon epic), winner of the last race poked his head in the door and informed me of this. That's how we do things 'round here, folks. You win, you organize the next race. Or convince someone else to. Also for the next race we expect to see an addition from Sethela to the Moxie Prize.
In other updates, I look forward to stopping by Trackstar and NYC Velo in the Big Apple this coming Monday. Maybe there will be something to entice people to come to future races!
Otherwise, See you on the 3rd!

In the Homebrew section of the report, Sethela and I had a brew day at his place this past Sunday. As my car battery was dead I did the sensible thing and loaded my 6 gallon carboy, 5 gallon pot and a couple of 6-packs of beer on the long bike and pedaled my ass over. A Maerzen (oktoberfest) was boiled and is now happily fermenting away. Seth was working on a more-than-mini-mash-but-not-full-grain ridiculously hoppy IPA with copious amounts of Summit and Willamette hops. Pucker! I sampled a bottle of my IPA yesterday, it tasted good, with a nicely pronounced bitterness but without enough carbonation yet. Hopefully with some carbonation the aroma from the Fuggles hops will come through.
Updates will be forthcoming, unless nobody gives a shit.

Race Results from the 10/29 Bozeman alleycat

Captain Entropy's race this past sunday had a great turnout (relatively speaking). 15 or so people arrived to try this whole 'alleycat' thing. I was quite impressed with how close everyone finished, meaning that just about all rode fast and took chances. Sadly, only two were in costumes. Sethela had his bike fairy gig, which was a hit in the Co-op (stop #2, manned by the Rob-ot), as he advised the perplexed patrons to "have a magical day". Your humble correspondent ( was decked out with a swanky sweater vest and some polyester pants. The pants were thought to not breathe very well, as an apparent case of swampass had set in halfway through the race. This was held as fact until well after the race (but not the revelry) had finished and the swampass culprit was found to be a punctured can of PBR in my for my homies.
The finishers:
  1. Julie
  2. Karla "please buy his trials bike" S.
  3. Bizzle fa Shizzle
  1. John with the old carbon Epic
  2. Mr DNA
  3. the guy with the single speed cross bike
Moxie Award

if anyone knows the the proper names of those I have no names for, let me know. You know where to find me.

so it's starting............

Welcome to the inaugural posting about the Bozeman Fixed gear cycling scene. Expect lots of ...........well, nothing really. Maybe some opinions on why bikes that don't coast and have no brakes are the cat's ass. Maybe something about why bikes and beer go so well together. Really, it's like adding two and two and getting five. There's definitely a synergy there. Or maybe I will rant endlessly about how you can't get a real live pumpernickel bagel in this town. I'll definitely put up some stuff on the numerous alleycats we're starting to have in Bozeman. It's my intention to have this site grow as the number of fixed gear enthusiasts grows in this town. So bookmark ths blog, check back frequently, and get fixed!

Pictures From Hellracer 2

Finally, here's some pictures from Hellracer 2 in Boise. Well, before and after pictures.

Back from Boise.......Hellracer 2!!!!!!!

...message left on Sethela's voicemail by Mr DNA:

"Hey...we're done racin and drinkin, the Bozeman contingent kicked some serious ass today. Beezie got second in the WINNER'S division and I got 5th, so we both got some booty. That's right, Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooty."

Friday night Bizzle fa Shizzle and I left for Boise to participate in Hellracer 2. Charlie the Ninja and his roomate Dustin (not the dead Dustin) were kind enought to put us up for the weekend and take us places to get good and drunk.
At the Mardi Gras: Loud Punk, great costumes (except for us), Gwar with a thong.
At the Neurolux: Strong IPA, Orange PBR, and a touch of vomit on the bar.
At the Piehole: ooohhh, real pizza. I know it's not regarded as quality, but compared to the crappy pizza we get in Bozeman it was damn good.

Saturday-race at 1ish, I found the first three stops on my own and then hung with Triton and Ben for a 5th place finish. Bizzle caught up to Dustin (not the dead Dustin) and wouldn't let him out of her sight. Pretty good for someone who had never done this AND managed to run into the side of my car that morning. Yes, the car WAS parked.

Post-race: At the Front Door, more great pizza, copious amounts of 2 below, and just great people to hang out with. Then it was on to the Neurolux for more Orange PBR.

Sunday-drive home, no place to get good coffee at 5 am in Boise on a sunday. Bozeman at 2:30, race at 3.

A HUGE thanks to everyone in Boise, esp. Chris and the Warlocks, Charlie the Ninja, Dustin(not the dead Dustin), Triton, and everyone else! Extra Special Thanks to Megan for the shirts, coffee, and buttons! Everybody should be drinking Hammer Coffee...I am this week! We had a fantastic time, and we'll sure make it back for the Pedalphile on Easter.

ignore this.

This is here only because I'm a computer 'tard and I want to post a pic on FGG.