Schlitzmas Pub Ride Report

Here goes my second attempt at writing the December 16th Pub Ride report. The madcap hijinks started at the Bozone Brewery on North Broadway. A few fine handcrafted beers were downed lending a nice glow to fend off the cold (10 degrees) night. I was a bit dismayed at the sparse showing of participants, but once I understood that not everyone places such a high priority on the joy of drinking I cheered up. It was either that or the cask-conditioned IPA. That stuff cheers me up anytime. Leaving the Bozone Evan realized that the snowboard lock he used to lock up his bike had self-reset its combination. Panicked twiddling of dials ensued, followed by a good tug and broken lock parts falling to the loading zone below. Sorry, Evan…the ride must go on.
Next was the Robin, with a quick stop at Captain E’s to pick up his memory card. Mark at the Robin was kind enough to give us a 20% discount on food and drink. Nobody was hungry, but all were thirsty as we used that kind discount to our advantage. Thankfully, some straggling members of the ride sauntered in as well as some tagalongs who drove. We welcomed them anyway. Bizzle, Sethela, and Eric B#2 all rode or walked. Leroy the Gimp (Elizabeth) was given a courtesy spoke card as she is still recovering from bones sticking out of her leg-not a good combination with icy roads and bikes.
Leaving the Robin, we headed a couple of blocks downtown to Plonk. Steve at Plonk also gave us a 20% discount. Thanks Steve! I was a bit late in leaving the Robin (cuz I made it clear we appreciated the hospitality-I hope others did too) so I hightailed it down to the next stop. 5 drinks inspired more confidence than I should have had in the relationship between my tires and pavement, leading me to make an unintentionally dramatic entrance at Plonk. Hard on the gas, take a left to beat traffic, on the sidewalk at about 18 MPH, try to do a spectacular fixie skid, and slide right into the front of the bar. I wish I did it in summer, when the front windows are opened. Thankfully, I was close enough (on) the ground to keep from entering via the glass front. A good amount of drinks were consumed, but some members of the ride felt uncomfortable with all that culture (real or imagined) flying around. I rather liked the stares of contempt.
Next was an unplanned stop at the Eagle. Before our departure, however, I decided that Seth’s bike was safer 8 feet up in a tree. I assume that we collectively headed to the Eagles for some $1.50 PBRs and a little blue-collar deprogramming after Plonk. The Eagle was interesting as usual, and strangely comfortable until I discovered the circuit breaker panel in the open for anyone to fiddle with. Well, since these were about the oldest circuit breakers I have ever seen, and since I had about 6 or 7 drinks in me I hit one of the breakers. I think that I was the most surprised out of anyone when the lights for the band shut off! I quickly turned the lights back on, sat down, and continued drinking my beer. In the next 5 minutes I met the grumpiest elf I have ever met as he implored me to “don’t touch the fucking breakers”. Wow. I think that was the first time I heard a 70 year-old drop the F-bomb. 3 minutes later another self-appointed member of the Eagles Circuit Breaker Panel Security Posse told me not to touch the breakers. I responded with a polite “I’m not touching the panel”. She asked in a rather gruff manner if I needed to “meet the bouncer”. I replied with “well, I’m sure he’s a fine upstanding gentleman. If he has the time, I would be delighted to make his acquaintance.” Wrong answer. Within the minute, E.C.B.P.S.P. lady came back with one of the bouncers! We chatted for a bit, actually got along famously, and parted ways. At this point most of our beers were empty and despite my success in talking us out of getting thrown out, we decided that we no longer felt comfortable and left.
I do have one minor suggestion for the Eagles Club: If you decide to provide the means to get people drunk and rowdy, and you desire to keep the circuit panel where it is, GET A FRIKKIN’ DOOR FOR IT!!! Many modern panels come standard with lock just for this reason.
At this point, our battle against attrition was slipping as we headed to the Pour House with a few less people. I was relieved to see that the new pizza joint in the Bozeman Hotel building is open to 3am on weekends. Decent pizza, too! A quick run for pizza helped to provide some real nourishment to balance the copious amounts of alcohol (uhhh…7 drinks?) before heading into the Pour House. Two double screwdrivers (each) were on the menu for Sethela and me. I thought we could have used some vitamin c.
That pretty much sums up the First Ever Bozeman Pub Ride. I want to again mention Steve at Plonk and Mark at the Robin. These guys were quite literally excited to have the opportunity to be a part in this. Everyone needs to stop in these places and thank them, or at least the bartenders so we can continue to have their support.

More Pub Ride updates! .......updated again!

In the immortal words of Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith: "I love it when a plan comes together."

I just returned from talking to various bars downtown, and here's what's going on: Start at the Bozone (we already knew this), 20% discount on all drinks and food at the Robin, 20% discount at Plonk, and Vodka specials at the Pour House. There's always the Legion for cheap drinks- I was going to run in there to ask for specials until I saw the saign for their Saturday night specials. I think $1 beers are cheap enough. I still haven't heard from the 317, so don't count on anything there. Make sure that you thank the participating bars for this...the managers at Plonk and The Robin were quite excited to have something like the pub ride happen. Let's keep this going.

Also, try to bring cash. At the Robin everything goes on one tab, so some real money will make that easier. Thanks.

As always, details will be forthcoming as they happen.

Pub Ride Update

Ok, everyone-here's the juicy details: We've decided to forgo the racing aspect this weekend and instead distill this Saturday's event to the two most important elements: Riding and Drinking. Join us this Saturday evening at The Bozone for a couple of good beers before we descend into the pit of two-wheeled drunken mayhem in our first attempt at a Pub Ride. We'll probably head to the Pour House and then on down the line. Bring a toy to donate, I'll bring them to some charity that I will decide on this week. See you there!

Bozone Brewery, North Broadway



Mid-December, still little snow. While the hardcore (or hardcore wannabe) skiers gave their skis an early-season stone grind yesterday, I went for a fixie ride. Noon: Sunny, mid 40's, no wind. Perfect riding conditions. I started up Bridger Canyon Rd, intending to ride up to Bridger Bowl, if I could make it. For some reason, my inner masochist caused my bike to veer right onto Kelly Canyon Rd-straight up the snow-covered 14% grade. This on my 42x14 gearing. I nearly made the whole climb, only walking up the steepest part. That 15t cog is going on my bike before the next ride. Made it over the hill, waited for the timid driver in the Range Rover to pass, then unleashed the fury for the ride down.
Later that night was the informal Shop Holiday Gathering at Ale Works, with just about everyone showing up, including Basil Hayden, Elmer T. Lee, and Elijah Craig. As the glasses of fine bourbon were emptied in rapid succession, the conversation continued its steady decline to ice cube and fork hucking, finally settling to a 'discussion' between Captain E and myself on the merits, real or imagined, of imitation cabbage: "Kabbage".

I apologize to the help at Ale works for dealing with our shenanigans. Please let us back.

In other news, it seems as if this Saturday's event might not include a race at all. I have gotten too many negative comments about racing at night, in winter, in the cold that there will only be a pub crawl. I am going to try to get some bars on board for drink specials...but no promises yet. So, Pub Crawl, no racing (we'll see after some beers are downed), and ALL are welcome, as long as you're on a bike. I'd still like to have a toy drive...I just have to find out where I could take them. See you Saturday!

The Long Bike

There's been some discussion lately about the Xtracycle , so I figured that I should just go ahead and post some pics of it. It's a Trek Rail 1 women's frame with a worn out Judy SL fork, 9 speed, and a very burly Hugi Tandem rear hub laced to a Sun Mammoth rim. These things are fantastic-I can carry a whole load of groceries, 4+ cases of beer, a passenger, etc. Makes my car last longer, as I drive it about twice a month.

Merry Schlitzmas!

Mark those calendars, cancel those holiday party plans. December 16th will be the next race!
A little different theme this time. The details are still being worked out, but I think that it will be something like a race, either a drag race in town or a point-to-point race (like from Spectator's to the Filler), followed by a good old-fashioned Pub Crawl. Maybe there will be some sort of Gift requirement for kids thrown in, too. We'll see. Keep checking back, details will be posted as soon as they're....created.

December 3rd Alleycat results

Yesterday's Alleycat went off without a hitch. John with the old carbon Epic did a great job organizing it. This time, we had a humanitarian twist thrown in, as racers had to stop at various grocery stores, pick up specific cans of goods, a turkey (or 2) and deliver them to the Gallatin Valley Food Bank.
The Manifest:
  • Start: Cooper Park
  • Safeway: can of Safeway brand corn or beans
  • Heeb's: Western Family potatoes or beets
  • Bogert Park: go down the slide
  • Southside Park: ride across the skating rink
  • Joe's Parkway: can of Campbell's soup
  • 4something S 14th: ride (walk) the north shore course
  • Albertson's: can of Albertson's fruit
  • Town & Country: 15 lb frozen turkey
  • Gallatin Valley Food Bank: drop off food
  • Cooper Park
Thankfully, the roads were pretty good, allowing those of us on fixed gears and skinny tires to SMITE those with mountain bikes. I was lucky in that from Safeway to Heeb's I hit EVERY green light and managed to pass some cars with aplomb, only to be held up by my inabilty to find the canned veggies at Heeb's (heeheh). Further hangups occured at Joe's Parkway when I got stuck behind 2 preppie chicks who were dismayed because they couldn't buy a candy bar with Mommie's AMEX. At Town & Country I figured I'd better carry 2 turkeys, since the fellow competitors would as well (an extra turkey took a minute off your time). This strategy appeared to be working satisfactorily, with the provided duct tape shoulder strap holding the second turkey semi-securely on top of my bag. The intersection at Durston/Peach and 7th enlightened me to my error, when the second turkey skittered across the intersection the way a bowling ball would if one had released it at 20 MPH. Strange looks from motorists ensued as I retrieved the rogue turkey and proceeded to carry it not unlike one carries a football, just a bit heavier and colder. The rest of the race was fairly uneventful, although Sethela did not know where on Bond St. the food bank was on. Minutes passed as the fruitless search brought him to the espresso hut across the street, until Captain E arrived.

Top three finishers:
Captain Entropy
Here's some pictures:

Big thanks to John for putting on the race, to Evan and.....the other people who helped (sorry, forgot your names). We'll see what the next race brings, I'm thinking maybe drag races down town follwed by a pub crawl. I'll keep this updated.